a little introspection.

School has been pretty quiet. We had a week off and then one last 3 week class. We are almost halfway through it. I've been acing class - rocking the big 4.0. AND, I got a scholarship from school. Giant pat on my back. I am still loving my electrical class. Which brings me back to my original thoughts about why I decided to go into automotive school in the first place....

I love houses. Always have. I think the scale is interesting and the techniques for putting them together is fascinating. Thinking about houses reminds me of my dad. There was a time when my dad and I would ritually watch This Old House and New Yankee Workshop on Sundays together. In fact this is one of my fondest memories. Just 2 days before he died, I made a special trip to visit him in the hospital and spent time just hanging out. We watched both shows together and just kept each other company. It's crazy to see so much of him in me as I struggle to find my place in this crazy world. My dad loved his workshop in the basement. I hold great pride for the numerous projects he worked on around the house. I always believed he could make anything. Hell, he made this amazing playhouse for me and my sisters (he called it our birdhouse), complete with a deck.

I wonder, what would be his guidance now? What were his dreams that he never got to see come to light? My mom talks about how they dreamed of rehabbing houses together. How often does that dream get passed down generations when the children didn't know the parents had the dream in the first place? Like he is sitting on my shoulder.

When I picked to be a mechanic I just PICKED something. I have never been IN LOVE with cars. There was even a brief period of time when I believed they cause a lot of harm to society. I am driven to study them because I yearn to make a living with my hands. Because I love knowing how things work. Even sewing intrigues me because I like looking at the construction of garments. I knew the desk job wasn't working for me. I looked at the other trades and wasn't so sure I was super interested in any of them. Then I took my electrical classes at school and something clicked. It left me thinking....should I really be studying to be an electrician? What about solar power? And wind power? Cool lighting? Home automation to increase efficiency? There's some cool shit out there people. Remember my story about the burglar alarm I made?

So....

This video makes me filled with glee. It resonates with me. I keep coming back to the building trades time and time again. Maybe I should fill out the application to the electrician's apprenticeship program...just in case.

Don't worry. This doesn't mean I don't like working on cars. Just means I'm refining my search and trying to stay true to myself. I hope you will all do the same. :)

postscript. This unemployed girl finally found a job. Not automotive related. Just a good old fashioned job making money to pay bills. Nothing fancy. I'm glad the stress is gone though.