a little introspection.

School has been pretty quiet. We had a week off and then one last 3 week class. We are almost halfway through it. I've been acing class - rocking the big 4.0. AND, I got a scholarship from school. Giant pat on my back. I am still loving my electrical class. Which brings me back to my original thoughts about why I decided to go into automotive school in the first place....

I love houses. Always have. I think the scale is interesting and the techniques for putting them together is fascinating. Thinking about houses reminds me of my dad. There was a time when my dad and I would ritually watch This Old House and New Yankee Workshop on Sundays together. In fact this is one of my fondest memories. Just 2 days before he died, I made a special trip to visit him in the hospital and spent time just hanging out. We watched both shows together and just kept each other company. It's crazy to see so much of him in me as I struggle to find my place in this crazy world. My dad loved his workshop in the basement. I hold great pride for the numerous projects he worked on around the house. I always believed he could make anything. Hell, he made this amazing playhouse for me and my sisters (he called it our birdhouse), complete with a deck.

I wonder, what would be his guidance now? What were his dreams that he never got to see come to light? My mom talks about how they dreamed of rehabbing houses together. How often does that dream get passed down generations when the children didn't know the parents had the dream in the first place? Like he is sitting on my shoulder.

When I picked to be a mechanic I just PICKED something. I have never been IN LOVE with cars. There was even a brief period of time when I believed they cause a lot of harm to society. I am driven to study them because I yearn to make a living with my hands. Because I love knowing how things work. Even sewing intrigues me because I like looking at the construction of garments. I knew the desk job wasn't working for me. I looked at the other trades and wasn't so sure I was super interested in any of them. Then I took my electrical classes at school and something clicked. It left me thinking....should I really be studying to be an electrician? What about solar power? And wind power? Cool lighting? Home automation to increase efficiency? There's some cool shit out there people. Remember my story about the burglar alarm I made?

So....

This video makes me filled with glee. It resonates with me. I keep coming back to the building trades time and time again. Maybe I should fill out the application to the electrician's apprenticeship program...just in case.

Don't worry. This doesn't mean I don't like working on cars. Just means I'm refining my search and trying to stay true to myself. I hope you will all do the same. :)

postscript. This unemployed girl finally found a job. Not automotive related. Just a good old fashioned job making money to pay bills. Nothing fancy. I'm glad the stress is gone though.

a list.

noticed similarities between my fellow students:

1. Refining their ability to look at a bolt and determine what size wrench or socket they will need.

2. Got a little grease permanently embedded in cracks in their hands.

2a. After scrubbing with the gritty soap, their hands are as smooth as a baby's butt.

3. LOVE Mythbusters, Bill Nye the Science Guy, Mr. Wizard, etc.

4. Notice variety in coveralls. See it as a way to expand the wardrobe.

5. Need better sized pants and/or a belt or suspenders.

6. Lack a sense of humor. This one needs explanation. I don't know what is wrong with people, but a get a lot of flack for finding the humor in things. S. and I were even asked if we were tired of laughing - like it's a bad thing?!? We've been snugged when we crack jokes and take things lightly. I feel like we are constantly looked at like we are crazy. Another guy snubbed me because I was asking people to join me in a bike ride that is part of a bike festival here in portland - the ride is the donut tour. We ride around town and sample donuts. Good stuff. Well, apparently not for the kid in my class. I could see him rolling his eyes from the back of his head. His response was, "Pishhh...You're obviously from out of town...." "Um, it's a donut ride. Is that offensive?" No. Sense. Of. Humor.

7. See the joy in a quick nap while lying under a car while removing a starter for class. (Something wrong with that? I mean class starts at 7am for gods sake....)

8. Drink large quantities of energy drinks ranging from mt. dew to crazy looking drinks with claw marks and day glow pictures on them. I wonder if the liquids glow from the crazy chemicals (radioactive?) they put in that shit to PUMP people up.


(I'll keep adding to the list as time does by.)

counting my blessings.

Just a quick entry before I head to a fun filled evening of midget wrestling (yeah, you got that right!). I picked up the last of my paychecks from the former job yesterday. I got trapped by the weirdo manager that wanted to tell me all about the large quantities of tires he has sold to a bunch of used car lots (his bonus is based off the number of tires he sells each month). Ick! The man is a creep. He hasn't found any new help (surprise, surprise) and I've noticed how the company is CONSTANTLY looking for new employees in the paper and on the web. If that doesn't tip you off to their turnover I don't know what will. I stopped my car in front of the service bays and the three guys that still work there came out to say hello. I made a mistake not saying goodbye to the guys when I quit, but I had way too much adrenaline pumping from giving the piece of shit manager a piece of my mind that I couldn't pull together the energy to see them. Shame on me...I liked them all for the most part. Anyways, they were all glad to see me and sad I left (or so they say :) ). As I was about to leave one guy told me he had a good job interview with a dealership in town. He's a promising tech and I'm really excited he is getting out of there. How the hell is the creep manager going to handle all that with only 2 guys? He's already got the three employees working 6 days a week! Glad I left when I did.

Homophobia in automotives. Anyone ever heard of a gay male mechanic? When I was working at the above tire shop I was amazed at the amount of shit talk that involved homosexuals. Like they were overcompensating for someone possibly thinking that they are ok with someone being gay or *gasp* themselves be gay. One guy, who joked less about gay men than some, would always bring up a loyal male customer that he commonly referred to as the "Power Puff" guys. He said that the interior of the car was covered in pink fluffy stuff and Power Puff paraphernalia. OMG! That is CRAZY! (read: sarcastic tone). My coworkers would laugh and laugh and laugh. Then they would tell their jokes and on it went. The manager threw a fit when he found out they advertise in the LGBT phone book (yep, Portland has one). I guess I shouldn't be that surprised by their homophobia. This is america after all....sigh.

I applied for a scholarship today along with one other person (the only other girl). There are two scholarships. Do the math.